influences: the good, the bad, and the totally whacked

ohhai! yes, i'm still alive for anyone who's actually been checking on here.

things got a little hectic IRL, and my brain was mush. then i got on a reading kick (thanks nalini singh) and in between all that i've been click-clacking away on Diva Diet.

it's going slower than i'd hoped on that front, though, and i've been trying to figure out why. i have it outlined. i have goals. i have motivation. i have conflict. i have character growth. this is the most well-formed story i've tried so far and i'm really excited to get it done; however, the words aren't flowing out.

then i realized that i was reading/listening to a lot of dark paranormal stuff, and my mood was pretty sombre as a result. time to switch it to something lighter, right? but i didn't want to delve into any RomCom reading because then i'd worry that my own work would be influenced and i'd start sounding like Rachel Gibson instead of Julie. so i switched to Jenny Crusie, who's neither particularly hilarious nor overly dark but full of lush descriptive emotion and i'm feeling way more motivated again.

working all of this out got me thinking about all the influences in my writing. sure, i have encouragement from friends and family; however, i get a lot of push from authors that i read, and they don't even know what they do to me.

nora roberts made me fall in love over and over and over with her romances. megan hart was the author who drove me to ask myself 'i wonder if i can do that'. the peeps at RD taught me structure and craft and perseverance. and there are so many books who make me crave to be part of that echelon of top writers i can't even describe it. it hurts sometimes, the wanting.

so i read and get all pumped up to write, and then i sit at my laptop and read a few lines of my own wip, and think 'man. you sort of suck compared to [insert famous name here]'.

*forehead smack* well of COURSE i do. i have to remind myself that i've been writing for three years! they've been writing for fifteen, dummy! and then i feel a little better. until i try and put down words that will make people feel. sometimes i'll sit there for an hour and add in a word here and there.

but there are times where it all just spills out and i write something so fantastic and i think 'yay! you can do eeeeet!' and all is write in the world again ;)