Monday, October 11, 2010


You know, I can't help feeling disappointed with myself lately.

I had really hoped/planned/wanted to have a submission ready by the end of September. Now, here we are, a third of the way into October, and I haven't written a darn thing since August.

Most of this time has been well spent - I've made a major change in my position at work, and am just now back on a shift that makes sense to me again (i missed you, nights!). I also helped a LOT with my friend's wedding, but that was on September 18th. Almost a month ago.

I can't pinpoint what's holding me back, except being overwhelmed, maybe? I'm the kind of person that, when faced with a lot, will rally and dive in. But if faced with TOO much, will sit in a catatonic state and do absolutely nothing because I can't wrap my head around where to start.

This happens in all aspects of my life, except for work, because there I'm judged on my performance and that's a huge motivator for me. At home though - yikes. Writing, cleaning, landscaping, painting, laundry, craft projects... it all just.. gets ignored. LOL

Anyway, regardless of what happenED to make me stop writing, I need to get a grip on what's happenING.

I want to write. That's definitely not the issue. There's lots of little bits of Tori and Kass and Finn and Drew running around in my head... but I think that until I get some of the other stuff done, I'll feel too guilty to concentrate.

I have a half-formed plan, though, to get me back on track. For each step completed, I think I'll be able to sit and write for a couple of hours, guilt-free, starting tonight, hopefully.

So, here's the unlikely Step One of The Grand Writing Plan:

Outdoor adventures: mow the lawn, learn how to start/run the snowblower & winterize the gardens

(for the record, doing the gardens scares the bejeezers out of me. there's been a bit of an earwig issue this year, and the damned things like my Black-Eyed Susans)


  1. I am having this same problem. I WANT to write, I do... just can't find the time or brainpower. I also get the same way - I like to work under pressure but when it is too much, I just shut down.

  2. yes, but once i start actually sorting through the mess i've let myself get into, i feel so much better.

    i think allie brosch explained it best:

    just as an update, i DID learn how to run my snowblower, and i mowed my lawn AND i winterized my gardens on Monday. total win.

  3. Been there. Done that. Sometimes the want - the desire - to write just isnt enough. And I've never been able to force myself. Wish I could.

    Good luck, you!